Day 130 // Re-discovering Creativity

I've always been a creative person. As I child I loved painting, singing, drawing, you name it. But as the years went on, I found myself continually stifled from self-criticism and a perfectionist mindset that nothing I create is good enough. Embarrassment of being judged and being self-conscious stopped me from experimenting with my creativity more.

Thailand gives you a completely new perspective on yourself. It's been such an encouraging adventure. The culture here is very careful about saving face and not making others feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, and it transcends into your mindset after a while. You gain a lot of self-confidence.

In my 4 and a half months here I have explored the depths of my creativity and found out what's been lying dormant all these years. I began drawing again, I started singing in public, I started taking pictures. And I am so happy I've been doing it. It shocks me I was so embarrassed to share any of that side of me for so long, and now I can't wait to draw another mandala or sing on Friday nights.

At first I found putting my art, photos, and singing up on social media as vain and self-centered, then as quickly as that thought came to me, I let it go. Why would I not want to express my joy and art? I want to share with my loved ones bits and pieces of my happiness, and no one should feel shame in doing so.

I've changed my mindset and have now been thinking, why not me? Someone will always be better than me, and someone always worse. But even thinking about comparison at all starts that tumultuous cycle of judgment before you even start. While those thoughts still come to me, I've gotten much better at enjoying creating for what it simply is and how much joy it brings me.



I've been given the opportunity to make a painting for a bar in Chiang Rai, I'm blessed to perform with a group of outrageously talented musicians every Friday, I've met other artists here exploring their creativity, and I even won first place for the CIEE Photo contest for school related photos!

So while this post has nothing to do with teaching really, it doesn't need to. Teaching abroad isn't all about teaching. I have this program to thank for rediscovering my love of art and music, and how I now feel that I am good at it as opposed to feeling ashamed.

If you are interested in any of my work, check out the website I made ! ----> www.ameliaskinner.com

And good luck to all those teachers out there getting ready to leave for your incredible adventure in October!

Day 119 // Sights at the Sunday Walking Street

Most of the cities in Thailand will have a Night Market or a Walking Street where you can spend way too much of your paycheck on beautiful trinkets, delicious food, and watch some traditional Thai performances. Last night, Rachael and I finally took the time to watch a beautiful Thai dance done by a group of younger children and captured some beautiful moments. 

A rhinoceros beetle

Day 101 // Long Weekend in Pai

I found myself drawn back to this paradisal town every day after my first visit back in July, and was looking forward to the long weekend in August to come back one more time. For the 4 day weekend, I met up with some friends from my orientation group that I hadn't seen since May, including my roommate for the first week, Josie. The bond you make with these people in one short week in Bangkok is truly special, and you are guaranteed to have a hell of a time with them no matter where you adventure.

We heard of a waterfall that would take about 4 hours round trip from our bungalow and all set out in the forest. The walk was nothing short of spectacular. The forests of Pai are filled with lush trees in every shade of green your eyes can savor, a continuous murmur of the waterfall's run off, and a symphonic buzzing of giant insects.

Despite the photo that makes him look fairly average in size, this spider was easily as big a dinner plate.

My nausea from seeing the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life was overwhelmed by wonder as I watched him wrap up his prey in his web and start to eat it. One of the many times in the hike I felt lucky enough to be experiencing the things I've only dreamt of when I would watch Planet Earth or read National Geographic. It reminded me to always marvel at how beautiful our world is.

My Birkenstocks took quite the beating and didn't survive the hike. You will be missed.

Pai Canyon gave a beautiful view of the valley and even allowed a brave few to trek down the orange dirt pathway for a better look.

Our waterfall endeavor wound up successful! Just at another waterfall that didn't require hours of searching. We cooled off in the chilly water and sat on the rocks enjoying each others company.

Silly group. Thanks for a great weekend guys.

Day 82 // Temples of Chiang Rai

This weekend we rented a car and did the touristy thing, checking out Wat Rong Khun (the White Temple), Baan Dam (the Black House), and Doi Tung Royal Villa and Garden. 

I was SO happy we had a car. Rachael rented it for 24 hours for about 1000 baht and it made the day go so much smoother than attempting to take a bus, taxi, or any other mode of transportation. 

White Temple // Wat Rong Khun

Wat Rong Khun was created by well known Thai artist Chalermchai Kosipipat and is one of the most elaborate and unusual buddhist temples in Chiang Rai. Unfortunately it was damaged in the May earthquake, and much of the structure had pieces missing and rubble was covering the floor. Regardless of the damage, it is one of the most spectacular pieces of architecture I've had the pleasure of seeing. 

Black House // Baan Dam

Created by artist Thawan Duchanee, Baan Dam is a spectacular and dark arrangement of animal remains in 15 different houses that is quite morbid and completely entrancing.

Apparently, the Black house is Thawan Duchanee's portrayal of what hell is like. It provided a perfect antithesis to the purity and heaven like qualities of the White Temple.

Doi Tung Villa and Mae Fah Luang Gardens

Pardon my lack of photos for Doi Tung, I was tired and cranky and sweaty and only managed to take a few photos. 

Doi Tung Royal Villa was home to the current King's late mother, Princess Srinagarindra. She played an important role in fighting the opium trade that devastated the region, and the villa became a haven for the tribe people to recover. 

Mae Fah Luang Gardens

We ended the night at a friend's house for a birthday party and a jam session.

Definitely one of those weekends I never wanted to end. Thank you Thailand for constantly blowing my mind with the amazing things to see and incredible people.